insanelygaming:

Cutting Grass

Created by Colin Lepper 

Just an idiot! WHY?! Why do i do this to myself?! This is dreadful. I feel absolutely crushed under the weight of impossibility again. Once more have I succumbed to the feelings of hopelessness that eats away at me day by day. I need to snap out of it. How can I make this right? Inside I feel like screaming half the time. Just screaming and letting it all out. I wont deny it anymore. I bottle up emotions more than I think. Sooner or later I know I am going to snap. The time is coming and I know it will be… considerably detrimental.

I’m sick of shifting from not feeling anything at all to feeling defeated and broken. Sure, there may be gaps of hopefulness, but that can only take one so far. 

It’s a pity that such a great weekend had to end with this. Nothing bad happened at all… why do I still feel like a failure? If there were a miracle bound to occur in my life, now would be the time. More than ever. Before I, once again, face utter failure. 

you’re unwanted, you constantly have to show people how much you do care or even when you care too much you get pushed to the side. You fight for their attention but what’s the point when you know you’ll lose. You’re mind is bottled up, people ask if you’re okay just cause they’re curious. And what sucks the most is when people continue to think poorly of you, it’s as if no one see’s the good in you anymore.